Conference approved literature cal alanon family groups. It gives you permission to let them experience any consequences associated with their drinking or drug use and focus on your own health and wellbeing. But many of us find it difficult even to begin this selffocused process because we have lost track of the separation between ourselves and others, especially the alco. Embrace detachment as a path to freedom addiction recovery and al anon selfhelp book casey, karen on. By separating ourselves from the adverse effects of anothers personal addiction s, it can be a means of detaching. Family and friends often feel trapped in their loved ones addiction. Detaching with love is an important goal in alanon recovery. Detachment can help us look at our situations realistically and objectively.
It has ben most helpful and would recommend it to all members of the family living with an alcoholic. Detachment is one of the most valuable techniques alanon of fers those of us who seek to reclaim ourselves. As year two and year three passed, i was still in the program. In alanon we learn nothing we say or do can cause or stop someone elses drinking. Explore alanon literature, containing thoughts and stories from those affected by a loved ones alcoholism. A core principle of alanon is that alcoholics cannot learn from their mistakes if they are overprotected. If youve dealt with someones progressive alcoholism or drug use, it might be hard. The way alanon meetings start is someone reads from one of the alanon books, something that was useful or something they used or had meaning to them and they add their feelings or situation. We can still love the person without liking the behavior. For a concise discussion of detachment and detaching with love, i recommend the pamphlet below often available at f2f meetings. For example, it means calling in sick for your husband if he is too. But as alanon grew, people misunderstood detachment with love as a way to scare alcoholics into changing. We are not responsible for another persons disease or recovery from it. Anon family groups published more than 100 books and pamphlets that share alanons single purpose.
Detachment works best when you can detach with love. Embrace detachment as a path to freedom addiction recovery and al anon selfhelp book. How to help an addict by detaching with love hazelden. Originally conceived as a way to relate to an alcoholic family member, detachment with love is actually a tool that we can apply with anyone. From al anon literature, about being able to detach with love the phrase detach with love is advice thats a big focus in al anon. Since the meetings subject is on detachment i will provide the initial reading just to get the meeting started. We can comment on what is written below, we can type in a. I began to despair as the character defects i had worked so long to overcome came back to haunt me, particularly during times of stress and during periods when i didnt attend meetings. If someone we love had the flu and cancelled plans with us, most of us would understand.
Pdf alanon family groups alanon family groups alanons basic book discusses the. Detachment from a family member with alcoholism verywell mind. This literature supplements the facetoface meetings where al. See more ideas about al anon, books and literature. How to help an addict by detaching with love hazelden betty ford. Alanon, a mutualhelp group for people with alcoholic friends or family members, pioneered the idea of detachment with love. It is written in plain englsh and is a pocket book that fits in your handbag so you dip into it when needed. We do this by learning to focus on ourselves, build on our strengths, and ask for and accept help with our. Not to suffer because of the actions or reactions of other people. In alanon, a 12step program for friends and families of alcoholics, there is an. We do this by learning to focus on ourselves, build on our strengths, and ask for and accept help with our limitations. This is excellent book on the reaons why and how to detach with love. As explained by the hazelden betty ford foundation, loved ones need to consider such questions as what are your needs beyond the needs of the alcoholic or addict.
Living with the effects of someone elses drinking is too devastating for most people to bear without help. Anon members share their insights and experiences with each other. Also, if you have an al anon book, probably somewhere in it, you will find information about detachment or detaching with love. In the context of the alanon program, detach with love is the idea that the family has to let go of their loved ones problem. I looked forward to the day i would graduate from alanon and get on with my life. Alanon is not a religious organization or a counseling agency. Alanon family groups, which includes alateen for young members, usually teenagers, neither expresses opinions on outside issues nor endorses outside enterprises. It does not imply judgment or condemnation of the person or situation from which we are detaching it is simply a way we can protect ourselves. Jun 22, 2018 explore erinlocal600s board alanon books, literature etc. One of the great gifts of the addiction recovery movement is the concept of detachment with love. Detachment, love, and forgiveness personal boundaries alanon recovery is about reclaiming our own lives. This book has unswerving accuracy in portraying alanon. Eight reasons why detaching with love is good for your addicted loved. Simply put, detach ment means to separate ourselves emotionally and spiritually from other people.
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